It has been my pleasure to be one of the Gatekeepers for
therealljidol competition, Season 8, Week 20.
For those of you on my list who don't know, the competition is a reality lj-writing competition, with many twists and turns. The public votes for the people they want to see move on to the next round. Approximately once a season, there is a vote where a small number of people who are not currently involved in the competition, are the only votes that count for that round. Those people are called Gatekeepers, and this week I was asked to be one of them. There were 17 in total.
(ETA: The reveal of the identity of the Gatekeepers is here and the results can be found here.)
People involved in the game are usually at least a little bit curious about any particular person's voting criteria, and they are typically a little more interested in the voting criteria of a Gatekeeper, so that's what I'm going to try to explain here.
First, my process:
All of the entries can be found here: http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/54 7602.html
I read each entry and assigned it a gut-feel, "yes," "no," or "meh" vote, based on my own personal reaction to the piece. After I recorded my original gut feeling, I assigned a score to the entry based on some criteria that was maybe slightly more objective than my gut feeling. I gave them each a score of 1-5, with 5 = Totally Awesome, 4 = Really Good, 3 = Good etc. I found I had to break out the 0.5's. No one scored lower than a 3. Fourteen people scored a 5, and their entries blew me away with their awesomeness.
After I finished all of them, I noted the ones for which I had indicated either "no" or "meh" and re-read them the next day. Since the instinct on whether or not to vote for an entry was part of a gut feeling, I wanted to be sure I hadn't just been in a pissy mood when I read those entries. Originally there had been 13 entries which received a "no" or "meh", but after re-reading them, I revised my scoring/votes. When I submitted my votes, there were only five entries for which I did not feel comfortable voting.
My criteria and other points of note
I hope that gives you an idea of my criteria. I wanted to comment on the entries, but because this season I've not been a frequent commenter, it seemed more prudent to be silent since I was supposed to be a secret.
For those of you who were wanting some kind of more personal feedback, please let me know. I can provide it either in a comment, or reply to an lj-message in private if you prefer. Please link your entry though, so I can click right to it and refresh myself on what you wrote.
Many thanks to
clauderainsrm for extending the invitation - I'm honoured to have been asked, and proud to have been able to help out.
A shout out to the entries I felt were this week's best:
http://notodette.livejournal.com/66 4629.html
http://yachiru.livejournal.com/381909.h tml#cutid1
http://alien-infinity.livejournal.com/2 15880.html
http://lrig-rorrim.livejournal.com/5 937.html
http://java-fiend.livejournal.com/41299 7.html
http://frecklestars.livejournal.com/239 254.html
http://mstrobel.livejournal.com/47091.h tml
http://basric.livejournal.com/234755.ht ml
http://alleyalligator.livejournal.com/5 603.html
http://sonophax.livejournal.com/27227.h tml
http://yuniebaby.livejournal.com/5460.h tml
http://magicmarmot.livejournal.com/2449 924.html
http://users.livejournal.com/_messy/124 70.html
http://lawchicky.livejournal.com/3 50180.html
(For those of you who were not on this list, I still liked your entries - I just really, REALLY liked these ones)
For those of you on my list who don't know, the competition is a reality lj-writing competition, with many twists and turns. The public votes for the people they want to see move on to the next round. Approximately once a season, there is a vote where a small number of people who are not currently involved in the competition, are the only votes that count for that round. Those people are called Gatekeepers, and this week I was asked to be one of them. There were 17 in total.
(ETA: The reveal of the identity of the Gatekeepers is here and the results can be found here.)
People involved in the game are usually at least a little bit curious about any particular person's voting criteria, and they are typically a little more interested in the voting criteria of a Gatekeeper, so that's what I'm going to try to explain here.
First, my process:
All of the entries can be found here: http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/54
I read each entry and assigned it a gut-feel, "yes," "no," or "meh" vote, based on my own personal reaction to the piece. After I recorded my original gut feeling, I assigned a score to the entry based on some criteria that was maybe slightly more objective than my gut feeling. I gave them each a score of 1-5, with 5 = Totally Awesome, 4 = Really Good, 3 = Good etc. I found I had to break out the 0.5's. No one scored lower than a 3. Fourteen people scored a 5, and their entries blew me away with their awesomeness.
After I finished all of them, I noted the ones for which I had indicated either "no" or "meh" and re-read them the next day. Since the instinct on whether or not to vote for an entry was part of a gut feeling, I wanted to be sure I hadn't just been in a pissy mood when I read those entries. Originally there had been 13 entries which received a "no" or "meh", but after re-reading them, I revised my scoring/votes. When I submitted my votes, there were only five entries for which I did not feel comfortable voting.
My criteria and other points of note
- Your entry has to grab my attention. I don't have a set place at where I have to be "grabbed", but it should be near the beginning, and I shouldn't get to the point of wondering when I was going to "get it". If my mind starts wandering in an entry, it's not a good sign. I try to give the entries the benefit of the doubt - I try to assume it's me being unfocused rather than the entry being poorly written, and so I try reading it through again a few times to assess whether or not the problem is me, or the entry. Often it's the entry, and it's a problem that some editing could fix.
- This is THE major criteria (but it happens after I've been "grabbed" so I'm listing it second) - I have to connect with it. It doesn't have to be brilliantly written, it really just has to keep me reading and make me feel something. If that's because I'm curious as to how it will end, or because you're making me laugh, or because you're expressing an opinion that I strongly agree or strongly disagree with, I just have to connect with it - I have to feel something. In a slice-of-life piece, I have to find myself being interested in YOU as a person. Since I'm naturally curious about people, that's usually not a problem. Usually.
- Length is not an issue for me, unless you've managed to avoid capturing my attention. Then I was irritated with longer entries. That's not a good sign either. If I'm captivated by an entry, I'll happily read it forever, and I'll be sad when it's done.
- Spelling and punctuation are not so much of an issue for me, unless I'm distracted by their egregious nature. If I'm reading your entry out loud, and I can't figure out when I'm supposed to take breaths/pauses, etc. then it's a problem. I read out loud a lot. It helps me to place myself in the scene, or give your narrative a voice. It helps block out the sound of my children
destroying my houseplaying. It also gives me an indication of a weaker entry, without having to over-think it. - I have no preference of fiction versus non-fiction. I used to prefer non-fiction lj entries years ago, but that was before I started to read really good fiction entries ;) Right now, my preference is to read really good entries. :)
- I don't necessarily subscribe to the opinion that a poem entry is committing idol suicide. It just has to be a well-done poem to get my vote.
- My vote was not in any way based on my opinions of your abilities or previous entries. It was based entirely on this week's entry only.
I hope that gives you an idea of my criteria. I wanted to comment on the entries, but because this season I've not been a frequent commenter, it seemed more prudent to be silent since I was supposed to be a secret.
For those of you who were wanting some kind of more personal feedback, please let me know. I can provide it either in a comment, or reply to an lj-message in private if you prefer. Please link your entry though, so I can click right to it and refresh myself on what you wrote.
Thank you all for providing me with such wonderful entertainment this season, but particularly over the last few evenings!
Many thanks to
A shout out to the entries I felt were this week's best:
http://notodette.livejournal.com/66
http://yachiru.livejournal.com/381909.h
http://alien-infinity.livejournal.com/2
http://lrig-rorrim.livejournal.com/5
http://java-fiend.livejournal.com/41299
http://frecklestars.livejournal.com/239
http://mstrobel.livejournal.com/47091.h
http://basric.livejournal.com/234755.ht
http://alleyalligator.livejournal.com/5
http://sonophax.livejournal.com/27227.h
http://yuniebaby.livejournal.com/5460.h
http://magicmarmot.livejournal.com/2449
http://users.livejournal.com/_messy/124
http://lawchicky.livejournal.com/3
(For those of you who were not on this list, I still liked your entries - I just really, REALLY liked these ones)
What makes you like some books more than others?
For me, it's all about the emotions that are evoked, and whether or not my imagination can allow me to jump into the book.
If 1) the book involves me feeling like crap because I could put myself in the character's shoes and it was an unpleasant place to be, chances are, I didn't like the book. It doesn't mean it wasn't well-written, it just means I probably wouldn't ever read it again. It could be a literary work of art, and I probably wouldn't read it again.
If 2) the book doesn't allow me to literally jump into the story (either because of plot implausibilities or maybe the language is even too advanced for my little mind to wrap itself around, or maybe because it just wasn't written well enough) then I'm also less likely to enjoy it, or at least read it once and never again. Again, it could be a work of art, but if I couldn't get into it, I won't like it.
Does this mean I only read crap? No. I actually read and enjoy non-drivel. Does it mean I only read good stuff? No. If I can get connect with the story, then I can also get into stuff that is generally considered crap (aka Harlequin Romances, Twilight, etc.).
It wasn't always this way, but I've noticed that since I've had kids (which also corresponds to the time when my dad started to fall ill), I've not been able to enjoy either tv, or books, or movies that make me cry, and/or that don't have a satisfying resolution that doesn't involve sadness. I just can't.
So what about you guys? What makes you like a book?
For me, it's all about the emotions that are evoked, and whether or not my imagination can allow me to jump into the book.
If 1) the book involves me feeling like crap because I could put myself in the character's shoes and it was an unpleasant place to be, chances are, I didn't like the book. It doesn't mean it wasn't well-written, it just means I probably wouldn't ever read it again. It could be a literary work of art, and I probably wouldn't read it again.
If 2) the book doesn't allow me to literally jump into the story (either because of plot implausibilities or maybe the language is even too advanced for my little mind to wrap itself around, or maybe because it just wasn't written well enough) then I'm also less likely to enjoy it, or at least read it once and never again. Again, it could be a work of art, but if I couldn't get into it, I won't like it.
Does this mean I only read crap? No. I actually read and enjoy non-drivel. Does it mean I only read good stuff? No. If I can get connect with the story, then I can also get into stuff that is generally considered crap (aka Harlequin Romances, Twilight, etc.).
It wasn't always this way, but I've noticed that since I've had kids (which also corresponds to the time when my dad started to fall ill), I've not been able to enjoy either tv, or books, or movies that make me cry, and/or that don't have a satisfying resolution that doesn't involve sadness. I just can't.
So what about you guys? What makes you like a book?
Season 8 of
therealljidol is here. I don't really have the time to enter, yet I'm seriously considering it. I may not be able to play the game like I ought to if I were playing to win, but maybe I could put in enough time to play the game and improve my writing skills.
Hmm.
Sign up is here.
Hmm.
Sign up is here.
I should mention that we're Catholic, but I haven't taken the kids to very many masses. Like maybe two in total. But I want them to be raised with the same spiritual beliefs in which I was raised, so I'm sending them to school through the Catholic school division.
Alex (who just started Kindergarten): Guess what!
Me: What!?
Alex: Today, we went to Church, and we saw God there!
Me: You saw God? Do you mean the priest?
Alex: Yes!
Me: Really! That's exciting!
Alex: Yes! And the big kids, they got to have special God chips!
Me (trying to figure out what she was talking about): God chips?
Alex: Yes! Yummy chips! From God!
Me (trying not to laugh): Oh! Yes! We call that the Holy Communion.
I think I like God chips better :)
I owe a couple of you some emails... I haven't forgotten, just dreadfully behind.
Alex (who just started Kindergarten): Guess what!
Me: What!?
Alex: Today, we went to Church, and we saw God there!
Me: You saw God? Do you mean the priest?
Alex: Yes!
Me: Really! That's exciting!
Alex: Yes! And the big kids, they got to have special God chips!
Me (trying to figure out what she was talking about): God chips?
Alex: Yes! Yummy chips! From God!
Me (trying not to laugh): Oh! Yes! We call that the Holy Communion.
I think I like God chips better :)
I owe a couple of you some emails... I haven't forgotten, just dreadfully behind.
Brief update in no particular order:
1) Work - I am working from home today, and posting on my lunch hour. It is awkward to work from home but not impossible.
2) Condo Board - I feel So Much Better since resigning from the Condo Board. Seriously. I can't believe what a difference it's been.
3) My Kindle - It came and one of the reasons why I've not been on lj as much is because I've been using it! *Squee* I've come to the conclusion that I like both the Kindle app on my android phone, as well as the Kindle itself. I seem to generally prefer reading from the Kindle, but I'd rather search for books on the phone, since the app tells me the price of the book beside the name of it, while in the Kindle store on the Kindle, you have to actually click on the book to find out the price. Many thanks to
bertine for putting me on her "Free Kindle Books" Circle on G+.
4) School - Alexandra starts Kindergarten this week. We had registration on Monday, and it was a bit of a disaster. Not a disaster because she was scared/clingy/etc. Oh no. A disaster because she was mad as hell that it was only a 15 minute process and she didn't get to stay.
5) Parenting - Current parenting challenges (with both kids, although more so with Alex) include figuring out how to handle situations where she says, in anger, "I don't like you! I don't want you to be my mommy any more! Go away!" We've spoken about this, and I've tried to refocus her on, "Is that really what you want? Do you really not want mommy to love you and kiss you goodnight and take you to the zoo and do fun things? Or do you just need some space?" But man is she a tough nut to crack, and boy oh boy does she get stuck on things. Not really sure where to go from here.
6) Current adorable thing from Stephen -
Alex: Mommy, last night I had a dream about the stock car races!
Stephen: Oh yeah! Stock cars!
Alex (surprised at his enthusiasm): Wow Stephen, you really do like the stock cars, don't you?"
Stephen: Yeah, I like stock cars. I don't like to walk.
7) Swimming - Both kids are in swimming right now - we got them into a two-week swimming program where they have it every single day. It's right on campus next to our work, and at 6pm (we got off work at 5pm) so it's just perfect for picking them up and taking them to swimming, and we get free parking. It's working so well, I think we're going to do swimming in the fall too, although not every day. The kids love it, but both are terrified of getting their nose/eyes/ears wet. Both are in Sea Otter right now - I'm hoping Alex will be able to move into Salamander by the end of the week, but Stephen I'm sure will stay in Sea Otter. What's really awesome about it right now, is that they are the only two in the class, so it's basically like they're getting private instruction.
8) Fall Activities - Registration for fall activities has been happening over the last week. It's been insane. Having said that, I managed to get them both in Gymnastics at the same time (different classes), Dance (back to back classes), and we're keeping our fingers crossed that we'll be able to put them into a Group Swimming class, where they'll have their swimming lessons together. Keeping all the fall activities together at roughly the same time and location, will seriously ease the burden, and will definitely make it more tolerable! Now I just have to think about whether or not I can incorporate some pilates in there for myself.
1) Work - I am working from home today, and posting on my lunch hour. It is awkward to work from home but not impossible.
2) Condo Board - I feel So Much Better since resigning from the Condo Board. Seriously. I can't believe what a difference it's been.
3) My Kindle - It came and one of the reasons why I've not been on lj as much is because I've been using it! *Squee* I've come to the conclusion that I like both the Kindle app on my android phone, as well as the Kindle itself. I seem to generally prefer reading from the Kindle, but I'd rather search for books on the phone, since the app tells me the price of the book beside the name of it, while in the Kindle store on the Kindle, you have to actually click on the book to find out the price. Many thanks to
4) School - Alexandra starts Kindergarten this week. We had registration on Monday, and it was a bit of a disaster. Not a disaster because she was scared/clingy/etc. Oh no. A disaster because she was mad as hell that it was only a 15 minute process and she didn't get to stay.
5) Parenting - Current parenting challenges (with both kids, although more so with Alex) include figuring out how to handle situations where she says, in anger, "I don't like you! I don't want you to be my mommy any more! Go away!" We've spoken about this, and I've tried to refocus her on, "Is that really what you want? Do you really not want mommy to love you and kiss you goodnight and take you to the zoo and do fun things? Or do you just need some space?" But man is she a tough nut to crack, and boy oh boy does she get stuck on things. Not really sure where to go from here.
6) Current adorable thing from Stephen -
Alex: Mommy, last night I had a dream about the stock car races!
Stephen: Oh yeah! Stock cars!
Alex (surprised at his enthusiasm): Wow Stephen, you really do like the stock cars, don't you?"
Stephen: Yeah, I like stock cars. I don't like to walk.
7) Swimming - Both kids are in swimming right now - we got them into a two-week swimming program where they have it every single day. It's right on campus next to our work, and at 6pm (we got off work at 5pm) so it's just perfect for picking them up and taking them to swimming, and we get free parking. It's working so well, I think we're going to do swimming in the fall too, although not every day. The kids love it, but both are terrified of getting their nose/eyes/ears wet. Both are in Sea Otter right now - I'm hoping Alex will be able to move into Salamander by the end of the week, but Stephen I'm sure will stay in Sea Otter. What's really awesome about it right now, is that they are the only two in the class, so it's basically like they're getting private instruction.
8) Fall Activities - Registration for fall activities has been happening over the last week. It's been insane. Having said that, I managed to get them both in Gymnastics at the same time (different classes), Dance (back to back classes), and we're keeping our fingers crossed that we'll be able to put them into a Group Swimming class, where they'll have their swimming lessons together. Keeping all the fall activities together at roughly the same time and location, will seriously ease the burden, and will definitely make it more tolerable! Now I just have to think about whether or not I can incorporate some pilates in there for myself.
Long and crazy week. Passed on all the condo stuff. Working hard to catch up at work. Found out I'm changing offices at work.
On one hand I'll get an office with two windows instead of one, but on the other hand, it will be an office without air conditioning in an old building with radiant heat (which means there's no way to turn off the heat even in the midst of summer). Considering I'm not supposed to move into it until September, that probably won't be so bad - it won't be that hot in Sept. I'm trying to stay positive. I don't do well in heat.
I am slowly but surely organizing my life. It's taking a while, but it will get there. I hope everyone's doing all right - I'm really behind on my reading.
In happier news, my Kindle came, and I've been completely enjoying reading from it. So far, good purchase!
On one hand I'll get an office with two windows instead of one, but on the other hand, it will be an office without air conditioning in an old building with radiant heat (which means there's no way to turn off the heat even in the midst of summer). Considering I'm not supposed to move into it until September, that probably won't be so bad - it won't be that hot in Sept. I'm trying to stay positive. I don't do well in heat.
I am slowly but surely organizing my life. It's taking a while, but it will get there. I hope everyone's doing all right - I'm really behind on my reading.
In happier news, my Kindle came, and I've been completely enjoying reading from it. So far, good purchase!
You comment to my post asking for five words. I will give you five words that I think of when I think of you. You will post them to your blog and post what those words make you think of, in depth.
theafaye gave me: editing, beach, cats, commitment, support
Support
I have two versions of "support" upon which I'd like to elaborate here - one with regards to the lj idol competition (particularly with it being "fresh" and all) and one with regards to generalized "support" of family members and friends.
Let's start with the support of family members and friends.
I grew up constantly being questioned. It was a fact of life. If I made a decision (whatever the decision was), my father would question me about it until he understood my decision-making process, and then he usually solidly agreed that it was a good decision (assuming I'd made logical choices), and I could see a bit of pride in his eyes. I was fine with this, and in fact I grew to look forward to the questions that would invariably come up, because just talking about it often reinforced in my mind that I had made the right decision for me.
My sister, on the other hand, seemed to have a harder time making decisions on her own. She relied far too much on the feedback of others, and would often absorb it into her own being, only to realize later that she'd made a decision not on what she herself had wanted, but on what others had wanted. She couldn't tell that though until it was far too late and the decision was made. She resented being questioned on her decisions. Probably because she wasn't all that certain about them, but that's speculation on my part.
Her opinion was - if you support me, you won't question me. You will accept that I have thought things through, and that I have made a good decision for me. Questioning me, is showing a lack of support for me.
I just can't disagree more with this idea. I can support someone, without agreeing that they've made a good decision! The decision on whether or not to be supportive of someone, does not mean you have to agree with every single thing they do. I may support her as a person, but I won't support a decision for her to kill herself, for example. I support her in her choice of a husband, but I'm not likely to be supportive of a decision for her to get married in a place that won't allow my attendance for example (just an example - we're attending the wedding). Frankly, if she was marrying a crackhead, I might not be supportive of her choice in husband, but that didn't mean I wasn't supportive of her as a person. It''s not all or nothing!
Being my friend (and this is probably important for you to know, you who are on my friends list), means that I if I don't understand why you have made the choices you have made, and you are telling me about them expecting some kind of feedback, I will question you on them. And if I think they aren't good decisions (or if you are patting yourself on the back for something I think was pretty boneheaded), I will probably say so. And it doesn't mean I don't support you as a person. Much to the contrary. Sometimes, giving a person real and true feedback, is the best way to support someone, even if it's not what they want to hear. And it's particularly important if you have surrounded yourself with people who constantly blow sunshine up your ass. I will never, ever, be that person. If you added me to your friends list and you're someone who only ever wants to hear sunshine positive feedback, you should probably either mention that on each post, or drop me as an lj friend. Seriously.
I try to be kind if/when I question and/or challenge someone, but you lose a lot in written communication (e.g. voice tone, inflection, body language, etc.) so please don't assume I'm questioning/challenging you to be evil. It's generally done with the best of intentions. I typically only take the time to offer challenging feedback if either the person or issue is close to my heart.
Additionally, I'm quite open to having my own behaviour/decisions challenged, unless I specify that I am not. Depending on my mood at the time of my response, I may sound crusty and/or unappreciative, but I am generally open to kindly-offered feedback. Generally. And I try to remember to disable comments when I'm not.
In terms of the lj idol competition
There is a distinct difference between me voting for your entry, and me supporting you in the competition.
I vote for the entries I like. Except when voting for someone makes me unsupportive of someone I have chosen to support. Let me explain.
If I am supporting people in the idol competition, that means I have ranked them in order of whom I want to win. I will vote upon whom I think is best, up until one of the people I have chosen to support, is in danger of leaving. In that case I will remove votes from people who threaten the person (or persons) I have chosen to support.
Does this mean I have decided whom I want to win well ahead of time? No. My list (and rank) of people whom I support is not static - it fluctuates with my opinion of their performance over time.
Does this mean I only support people who are on my friends list? No. Several people in the competition this year, were completely unaware that they had my support, and I liked it that way. They were not on my friends list, and I'm not saying who they were either.
Do I always support everyone on my friends list? No. Whether or not I choose to support someone is based on many things, and may change week to week. One of the criteria is performance. I may have to withdraw my support if I see someone I usually like, writing below their calibre.
What does it mean if you are not on the list of people I have chosen to support? It means I will vote for the entries of yours that I like, up until the point where it becomes a choice between you and someone else whom I support. Then I will remove my vote for you, in order to keep supporting the one I've chosen.
I know a lot of people disagree with taking votes away, but I feel that I'm not supporting those I've chosen if I'm voting for their immediate competition. Make sense?
Support
I have two versions of "support" upon which I'd like to elaborate here - one with regards to the lj idol competition (particularly with it being "fresh" and all) and one with regards to generalized "support" of family members and friends.
Let's start with the support of family members and friends.
I grew up constantly being questioned. It was a fact of life. If I made a decision (whatever the decision was), my father would question me about it until he understood my decision-making process, and then he usually solidly agreed that it was a good decision (assuming I'd made logical choices), and I could see a bit of pride in his eyes. I was fine with this, and in fact I grew to look forward to the questions that would invariably come up, because just talking about it often reinforced in my mind that I had made the right decision for me.
My sister, on the other hand, seemed to have a harder time making decisions on her own. She relied far too much on the feedback of others, and would often absorb it into her own being, only to realize later that she'd made a decision not on what she herself had wanted, but on what others had wanted. She couldn't tell that though until it was far too late and the decision was made. She resented being questioned on her decisions. Probably because she wasn't all that certain about them, but that's speculation on my part.
Her opinion was - if you support me, you won't question me. You will accept that I have thought things through, and that I have made a good decision for me. Questioning me, is showing a lack of support for me.
I just can't disagree more with this idea. I can support someone, without agreeing that they've made a good decision! The decision on whether or not to be supportive of someone, does not mean you have to agree with every single thing they do. I may support her as a person, but I won't support a decision for her to kill herself, for example. I support her in her choice of a husband, but I'm not likely to be supportive of a decision for her to get married in a place that won't allow my attendance for example (just an example - we're attending the wedding). Frankly, if she was marrying a crackhead, I might not be supportive of her choice in husband, but that didn't mean I wasn't supportive of her as a person. It''s not all or nothing!
Being my friend (and this is probably important for you to know, you who are on my friends list), means that I if I don't understand why you have made the choices you have made, and you are telling me about them expecting some kind of feedback, I will question you on them. And if I think they aren't good decisions (or if you are patting yourself on the back for something I think was pretty boneheaded), I will probably say so. And it doesn't mean I don't support you as a person. Much to the contrary. Sometimes, giving a person real and true feedback, is the best way to support someone, even if it's not what they want to hear. And it's particularly important if you have surrounded yourself with people who constantly blow sunshine up your ass. I will never, ever, be that person. If you added me to your friends list and you're someone who only ever wants to hear sunshine positive feedback, you should probably either mention that on each post, or drop me as an lj friend. Seriously.
I try to be kind if/when I question and/or challenge someone, but you lose a lot in written communication (e.g. voice tone, inflection, body language, etc.) so please don't assume I'm questioning/challenging you to be evil. It's generally done with the best of intentions. I typically only take the time to offer challenging feedback if either the person or issue is close to my heart.
Additionally, I'm quite open to having my own behaviour/decisions challenged, unless I specify that I am not. Depending on my mood at the time of my response, I may sound crusty and/or unappreciative, but I am generally open to kindly-offered feedback. Generally. And I try to remember to disable comments when I'm not.
In terms of the lj idol competition
There is a distinct difference between me voting for your entry, and me supporting you in the competition.
I vote for the entries I like. Except when voting for someone makes me unsupportive of someone I have chosen to support. Let me explain.
If I am supporting people in the idol competition, that means I have ranked them in order of whom I want to win. I will vote upon whom I think is best, up until one of the people I have chosen to support, is in danger of leaving. In that case I will remove votes from people who threaten the person (or persons) I have chosen to support.
Does this mean I have decided whom I want to win well ahead of time? No. My list (and rank) of people whom I support is not static - it fluctuates with my opinion of their performance over time.
Does this mean I only support people who are on my friends list? No. Several people in the competition this year, were completely unaware that they had my support, and I liked it that way. They were not on my friends list, and I'm not saying who they were either.
Do I always support everyone on my friends list? No. Whether or not I choose to support someone is based on many things, and may change week to week. One of the criteria is performance. I may have to withdraw my support if I see someone I usually like, writing below their calibre.
What does it mean if you are not on the list of people I have chosen to support? It means I will vote for the entries of yours that I like, up until the point where it becomes a choice between you and someone else whom I support. Then I will remove my vote for you, in order to keep supporting the one I've chosen.
I know a lot of people disagree with taking votes away, but I feel that I'm not supporting those I've chosen if I'm voting for their immediate competition. Make sense?
You comment to my post asking for five words. I will give you five words that I think of when I think of you. You will post them to your blog and post what those words make you think of, in depth.
theafaye gave me: editing, beach, cats, commitment, support
Commitment
On first glance, some people might say that I struggle with making commitments, but I would have to disagree with them. I have no problem with making commitments, however I'm extremely reluctant to make commitments upon which I suspect I may not be able to follow through.
This wasn't always the case. I used to happily make promises, with every intention of keeping them, and then I would run into trouble later on down the line when I ran out of time. It resulted in the worst possible feeling - that feeling of letting others down. One of my friends gave me this book called Take Time For Your Life which had an amazing impact. I learned that with all of my commitments, I had actually been expecting myself to do approximately 30 hours worth of work (including sleep, socialization and personal care), in a 24 hour day period. No wonder I felt constantly defeated - I had zero chance of achieving this since it wasn't actually possible!
At that time, I had to immediately begin cutting things out of my life. A lot of people became very angry with me - rightly so. I had promised them things, and I was backing out of the commitment. However when you broke it all down, it became apparent that I hadn't a snowball's chance in hell of fulfilling most of those commitments anyway. The person who was losing out was me and my family, since I was sleeping less and spending less time with them. When it comes time to letting people down, the people that tend to top the list are family, since they are most likely to forgive you. This is often completely contrary to a person's priorities, since family will trump friends most of the time.
After reading the book and realizing I needed to cut a bunch of commitments out of my life, I prioritized my life in terms of "me-time"; "family-time"; "work-time"; "friends time" (and in approximately that order), and then I slotted my commitments into those categories. They got cut from the bottom up, until I was down to a less than 24 hour/day expectation of myself.
Nowadays, I am extremely reluctant to take on a project, unless I truly believe I can handle the extra workload. Knowing that I have a tendency to take on too much (it's all just 20 minutes of this, and 30 minutes of that - totally do-able, right? Not.) and that my time can get nickel-and-dimed away, I have to be very wary of my own tendencies, and really think things through.
Letting go of the commitment of being on the Condo Board earlier this week, has been another attempt to clear up some time for myself. Somehow I managed to over-commit myself again, despite my best efforts to avoid this. Except with the Condo Board, I hadn't exactly volunteered for the workload I ended up acquiring, so it was easy to let go of that particular commitment. Hopefully that one alone will be enough, because the rest are going to be much harder. Time will tell.
Commitment
On first glance, some people might say that I struggle with making commitments, but I would have to disagree with them. I have no problem with making commitments, however I'm extremely reluctant to make commitments upon which I suspect I may not be able to follow through.
This wasn't always the case. I used to happily make promises, with every intention of keeping them, and then I would run into trouble later on down the line when I ran out of time. It resulted in the worst possible feeling - that feeling of letting others down. One of my friends gave me this book called Take Time For Your Life which had an amazing impact. I learned that with all of my commitments, I had actually been expecting myself to do approximately 30 hours worth of work (including sleep, socialization and personal care), in a 24 hour day period. No wonder I felt constantly defeated - I had zero chance of achieving this since it wasn't actually possible!
At that time, I had to immediately begin cutting things out of my life. A lot of people became very angry with me - rightly so. I had promised them things, and I was backing out of the commitment. However when you broke it all down, it became apparent that I hadn't a snowball's chance in hell of fulfilling most of those commitments anyway. The person who was losing out was me and my family, since I was sleeping less and spending less time with them. When it comes time to letting people down, the people that tend to top the list are family, since they are most likely to forgive you. This is often completely contrary to a person's priorities, since family will trump friends most of the time.
After reading the book and realizing I needed to cut a bunch of commitments out of my life, I prioritized my life in terms of "me-time"; "family-time"; "work-time"; "friends time" (and in approximately that order), and then I slotted my commitments into those categories. They got cut from the bottom up, until I was down to a less than 24 hour/day expectation of myself.
Nowadays, I am extremely reluctant to take on a project, unless I truly believe I can handle the extra workload. Knowing that I have a tendency to take on too much (it's all just 20 minutes of this, and 30 minutes of that - totally do-able, right? Not.) and that my time can get nickel-and-dimed away, I have to be very wary of my own tendencies, and really think things through.
Letting go of the commitment of being on the Condo Board earlier this week, has been another attempt to clear up some time for myself. Somehow I managed to over-commit myself again, despite my best efforts to avoid this. Except with the Condo Board, I hadn't exactly volunteered for the workload I ended up acquiring, so it was easy to let go of that particular commitment. Hopefully that one alone will be enough, because the rest are going to be much harder. Time will tell.
So I'm completely excited to say that I got a new phone! A Samsung Galaxy S2 - and it is completely awesome!
No more will I have to borrow the hubby's phone when away from the pc - I can use my own!
Now I have to go about setting it all up. :-)
ETA: Lj hasn't let me post this in days. Common lj- post this time!
Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.
- Mood:
working
For
sunnybananas
Originally posted by
joeymichaels at For <lj user=sunnybananas>
Our good friend Sunny is sick. This story was written for her in the hopes that it draws some attention to a fundraiser being run on her behalf, specifically from the
therealljidol community (hence the references to Idol in the intro) but also from anyone on my LJ Friends list who stumbles across it. Or who sees it because I mention it on Facebook.
---
Introduction by
sharya
sunnybananas is a friend who, for the first time ever, entered Idol this season. Unfortunately that thing called Life got in the way, and she had to drop out very early. She has subsequently fallen on hard times, and for the last couple of weeks she has been hospitalized in the ICU. Her extended family has set up a fundraiser to help out her immediate family, who are struggling – she’s got a 8 year old and a 13 year old, as well as a devoted husband who are doing their best to stay afloat. If all goes well, the earliest she could get out of the hospital will be Christmas, and the family could really use some help.
The link to the fundraiser is here, and to help encourage you to donate,
joeymichaels, one of her long-time friends, has written a story for the cause. It’s a story of art, and of hope, and is perfectly suited for Sunny – Artist, Writer, and Muse. I hope you will consider helping out if you can.
---
Out Of A Corner
By
joeymichaels
Sonja learned, at age 6, that she could walk in and out of her paintings.
She would make a painting during kindergarten of her house and kitties and mommy and daddy, and then she would walk into it for a little while when things got dull. She would play with the big fake looking kitties and tell stories with the misshapen mommy and daddy and then go back to class. Her teachers would be cross.
"Sonja, where have you been?"
She tried to explain, but they would never believe her. When she offered to show them, they insisted that she stop telling lies. Even her parents thought she was making it up, though they argued with the teachers that their daughter shouldn't be punished for having a strong imagination.
So Sonja decided to keep her ability a secret.
She recognized, however, that the ability to paint a wide variety of things in a wide variety of ways was going to be of particular interest for her. As a result, she really excelled in her art classes.
Every now and again, she would see a painting by somebody else that she especially liked and she'd try to pop into it. That always felt like she was bouncing against thick cellophane. She figured that if she wanted to leap into that particular painting's world, she'd need to duplicate it as exactly as possible. It was hard for her to make the replication perfect – after all, she was just a kid – but she worked diligently to improve.
That was all right, though, as it led her to developing her own style. She especially loved creating paintings of rag-doll-like little girls against a background of multiple triangles and squares. They were pretty to look at from the outside, and when you hopped into one of them, you and the painted girl could climb and run and laugh easily among the big, colorful shapes.
She made a major discovery when she was 13. She and one of her cats, Shiner, were sitting in her room bored out of their minds. It was a foggy Sunday afternoon and there was nothing to do. Shiner was an inside cat and every now and again, he'd hop up on the windowsill and chatter at the few squirrels in the yard.
"I'll paint you some butterflies to chase," said Sonja.
She made a lovely little field and added a wide variety of butterflies.
"I wonder," she asked out loud, "if I can take you with me?"
She picked up Shiner and suddenly they were both in the painting. Shiner, typical cat, was nervous at first, but soon started chasing butterflies all over the field. Sonja had to wait until he was worn out before she was able to catch him and return to the real world. For the next six months or so, creating places to play for Shiner and her other cat, Fatty, were her main hobbies.
When she was 15, Sonja was working on duplicating a painting by Claude Lorraine and was really capturing it perfectly when the air raid sirens went off.
This hadn't happened in over 60 years, so nobody in the whole town was prepared in the least. They turned on the radio and learned that their country was at war with another country because of something a third country had done. Furthermore, they learned that a few towns in their province had already been destroyed by enemy bombs.
The town panicked. There was only one bomb shelter in the whole town and it had been built when the town had less than a third of its current population.
Sonja had a plan. She brought a painting she'd made of a nice little house by the sea, to the mayor's office. After some explaining and begging, Sonja took her by the hand and led her into the painting. When the mayor came out, she enthusiastically agreed to Sonja's plan.
For the next two days, Sonja worked day and night on her masterpiece. It was a huge painting; a massive landscape of the entire town that she painted based on sketches she'd made. She tried to get every detail as perfect as she possibly could. When it was finished, the police helped her bring it into the bomb shelter.
The Mayor explained that everyone should report to the bomb shelter and, furthermore, that they should bring everything they wanted with them - furniture, pets, livestock, and anything else that they could fit down the stairs. Citizens were expressing concerns that it wouldn't all fit, but sure enough, the line at the bomb shelter kept steadily moving.
That was because, of course, Sonja was downstairs leading everyone and everything into the painting of the town. People were amazed to find themselves met with moving trucks (which Sonja had moved into the painting the night before, with the help of the police) ready to move them into painting-world versions of their houses. It only took three days to move everyone in, and they were lucky that the air raid sirens that had sounded in the meantime were not for them.
When everyone was safely in the painting, the last police officer left locked the door to the bomb shelter. Sonja gathered up her paints and brushes in a small satchel. The officer shook her hand, a big, broad smile stretched across his face, and the two of them walked into the painting together.
Every few months, the mayor would send a few people out into the real world to check on the status of the war, but it raged on for many, many years. Sonja's town was bombed, and then bombed again. Their countrymen assumed, when they never heard from them, that they'd been wiped out to the last person.
Inside the painting, they grew real crops from seeds they’d brought along in the painted soil. The rain that fell filled the reservoir with water that was seemed real enough (though it tasted oily). When people died, they were buried in the cemetery and, on the painting in the real world, a new stone would appear.
As for Sonja, she started to grow restless with life in her picture perfect hometown, so she started painting other towns and worlds. Sometimes, she created elaborate fantasy worlds populated entirely by creatures from her imagination; other times more realistic towns or cities. Sometimes, she’d slip into the new world and live there for a bit among strange and wonderful beings. And, sometimes, while she was inside a new painting, she’d create another painting and slip into that.
The more restless Sonja became, the more paintings she’d create. Sometimes, she found herself in a painting within a painting within a painting within a painting… so many levels deep that she was afraid she’d forget how far she’d have to travel to get out.
It was while she was on one of these extended trips that the war ended and her fellow townspeople decided to leave the painting and rebuild their actual town. It took some work to move everything from the painting back to the bomb shelter and then into storage while the town was being rebuilt, but after having lived in that particular painting for so long, the citizens had grown adept at hopping in and out on their own.
As the mayor and the last police officer (the one who’d smiled so broadly when they first went into the painting) were hopping out of the painting, the police officer expressed a concern that Sonja might never find her way out.
“Don’t worry,” said the mayor, “I left her a note.”
The painting was left in the bomb shelter where it became a little shrine to Sonja. Townspeople came to look at it every day (and sometimes hopped in and poked around again, for old times sake) and left little offerings for Sonja (but never candles, because they didn’t want to risk burning the canvas).
One morning, the smiling police officer came to visit and found a note from Sonja on the frame.
“Don’t worry about me,” it read, “I’ll be home soon, but I’ve found something deep, deep, deep inside the paintings. I can’t describe it, not really, but it’s amazing, and I’m going to bring it out with me if I can!”
Every day since, more and more townspeople have been visiting the canvas. The little painted house where Sonja lived started to look like somebody had painted a bright, soft light around it. It is emanating a little bigger every few days.
They’re not sure what she’s bringing to them, but everyone agrees nothing is ever going to be the same again.
If they’d learned anything from their years in the painting it was this: believe Sonja. She doesn’t lie.
---
That fundraising link again.
Also,
---
Introduction by
The link to the fundraiser is here, and to help encourage you to donate,
---
Out Of A Corner
By
Sonja learned, at age 6, that she could walk in and out of her paintings.
She would make a painting during kindergarten of her house and kitties and mommy and daddy, and then she would walk into it for a little while when things got dull. She would play with the big fake looking kitties and tell stories with the misshapen mommy and daddy and then go back to class. Her teachers would be cross.
"Sonja, where have you been?"
She tried to explain, but they would never believe her. When she offered to show them, they insisted that she stop telling lies. Even her parents thought she was making it up, though they argued with the teachers that their daughter shouldn't be punished for having a strong imagination.
So Sonja decided to keep her ability a secret.
She recognized, however, that the ability to paint a wide variety of things in a wide variety of ways was going to be of particular interest for her. As a result, she really excelled in her art classes.
Every now and again, she would see a painting by somebody else that she especially liked and she'd try to pop into it. That always felt like she was bouncing against thick cellophane. She figured that if she wanted to leap into that particular painting's world, she'd need to duplicate it as exactly as possible. It was hard for her to make the replication perfect – after all, she was just a kid – but she worked diligently to improve.
That was all right, though, as it led her to developing her own style. She especially loved creating paintings of rag-doll-like little girls against a background of multiple triangles and squares. They were pretty to look at from the outside, and when you hopped into one of them, you and the painted girl could climb and run and laugh easily among the big, colorful shapes.
She made a major discovery when she was 13. She and one of her cats, Shiner, were sitting in her room bored out of their minds. It was a foggy Sunday afternoon and there was nothing to do. Shiner was an inside cat and every now and again, he'd hop up on the windowsill and chatter at the few squirrels in the yard.
"I'll paint you some butterflies to chase," said Sonja.
She made a lovely little field and added a wide variety of butterflies.
"I wonder," she asked out loud, "if I can take you with me?"
She picked up Shiner and suddenly they were both in the painting. Shiner, typical cat, was nervous at first, but soon started chasing butterflies all over the field. Sonja had to wait until he was worn out before she was able to catch him and return to the real world. For the next six months or so, creating places to play for Shiner and her other cat, Fatty, were her main hobbies.
When she was 15, Sonja was working on duplicating a painting by Claude Lorraine and was really capturing it perfectly when the air raid sirens went off.
This hadn't happened in over 60 years, so nobody in the whole town was prepared in the least. They turned on the radio and learned that their country was at war with another country because of something a third country had done. Furthermore, they learned that a few towns in their province had already been destroyed by enemy bombs.
The town panicked. There was only one bomb shelter in the whole town and it had been built when the town had less than a third of its current population.
Sonja had a plan. She brought a painting she'd made of a nice little house by the sea, to the mayor's office. After some explaining and begging, Sonja took her by the hand and led her into the painting. When the mayor came out, she enthusiastically agreed to Sonja's plan.
For the next two days, Sonja worked day and night on her masterpiece. It was a huge painting; a massive landscape of the entire town that she painted based on sketches she'd made. She tried to get every detail as perfect as she possibly could. When it was finished, the police helped her bring it into the bomb shelter.
The Mayor explained that everyone should report to the bomb shelter and, furthermore, that they should bring everything they wanted with them - furniture, pets, livestock, and anything else that they could fit down the stairs. Citizens were expressing concerns that it wouldn't all fit, but sure enough, the line at the bomb shelter kept steadily moving.
That was because, of course, Sonja was downstairs leading everyone and everything into the painting of the town. People were amazed to find themselves met with moving trucks (which Sonja had moved into the painting the night before, with the help of the police) ready to move them into painting-world versions of their houses. It only took three days to move everyone in, and they were lucky that the air raid sirens that had sounded in the meantime were not for them.
When everyone was safely in the painting, the last police officer left locked the door to the bomb shelter. Sonja gathered up her paints and brushes in a small satchel. The officer shook her hand, a big, broad smile stretched across his face, and the two of them walked into the painting together.
Every few months, the mayor would send a few people out into the real world to check on the status of the war, but it raged on for many, many years. Sonja's town was bombed, and then bombed again. Their countrymen assumed, when they never heard from them, that they'd been wiped out to the last person.
Inside the painting, they grew real crops from seeds they’d brought along in the painted soil. The rain that fell filled the reservoir with water that was seemed real enough (though it tasted oily). When people died, they were buried in the cemetery and, on the painting in the real world, a new stone would appear.
As for Sonja, she started to grow restless with life in her picture perfect hometown, so she started painting other towns and worlds. Sometimes, she created elaborate fantasy worlds populated entirely by creatures from her imagination; other times more realistic towns or cities. Sometimes, she’d slip into the new world and live there for a bit among strange and wonderful beings. And, sometimes, while she was inside a new painting, she’d create another painting and slip into that.
The more restless Sonja became, the more paintings she’d create. Sometimes, she found herself in a painting within a painting within a painting within a painting… so many levels deep that she was afraid she’d forget how far she’d have to travel to get out.
It was while she was on one of these extended trips that the war ended and her fellow townspeople decided to leave the painting and rebuild their actual town. It took some work to move everything from the painting back to the bomb shelter and then into storage while the town was being rebuilt, but after having lived in that particular painting for so long, the citizens had grown adept at hopping in and out on their own.
As the mayor and the last police officer (the one who’d smiled so broadly when they first went into the painting) were hopping out of the painting, the police officer expressed a concern that Sonja might never find her way out.
“Don’t worry,” said the mayor, “I left her a note.”
The painting was left in the bomb shelter where it became a little shrine to Sonja. Townspeople came to look at it every day (and sometimes hopped in and poked around again, for old times sake) and left little offerings for Sonja (but never candles, because they didn’t want to risk burning the canvas).
One morning, the smiling police officer came to visit and found a note from Sonja on the frame.
“Don’t worry about me,” it read, “I’ll be home soon, but I’ve found something deep, deep, deep inside the paintings. I can’t describe it, not really, but it’s amazing, and I’m going to bring it out with me if I can!”
Every day since, more and more townspeople have been visiting the canvas. The little painted house where Sonja lived started to look like somebody had painted a bright, soft light around it. It is emanating a little bigger every few days.
They’re not sure what she’s bringing to them, but everyone agrees nothing is ever going to be the same again.
If they’d learned anything from their years in the painting it was this: believe Sonja. She doesn’t lie.
---
That fundraising link again.
Also,